My “Coming-Out” story.
For those of you who don’t know, I’m a lesbian. Im 52 and I’m a LIFE-LONG female homosexual, who is exclusively attracted to women. Who has ALWAYS been a lesbian. And who ALWAYS will be a lesbian.
I have always been gender non-conforming and was described as a “tomboy” from being very small.
I was dragged out of the closet when I was 17 years old, in the 1980s, when my Catholic parents found love-letters from a woman, that I had hidden in my room, who I had been seeing.
I confessed to “lesbianism” and my confession to this crime, led them to make tentative arrangements, for me too marry a male friend of theirs, who was in his late thirties. This was an attempt to force “compulsory heterosexuality” upon me. Compulsory heterosexuality leads to corrective rape for lesbians.
I could not have married him. I was a LESBIAN. I knew this from being about nine years old. Lesbians DON’T have choices in these matters, were NOT bisexual, as in able to find BOTH sexes, sexually alluring.
I lived at home. I had nowhere to go at that age, apart from live with my homophobic parents. I was still a child in law.
My confession to lesbianism, also led to months of constant emotional, psychological and physical violence from my parents, as punishment for being “dirty” and in a bid to beat me/frighten me, straight.
This abuse was so extreme, that it led me to try to kill myself, aged 17. Because I was a lesbian and because I had brought great shame on my family.
I was sent to a psychiatrist, because I was a lesbian and I was placed on psychiatric medication. For my lesbianism. I was still only 17 years of age. I was still a child.
My suicide attempt and the prospect of being married to a man twice my age, as a lesbian, meant that I had to RUN for my life.
At 18 ish, I navigated my way to Switzerland and went to stay with a cousin of mine who was married and lived out there. That was in 1988. The summer of, emancipation and love, for me.
My cousin and her family were not homophobic. She was safe to be with. Switzerland was also very liberal and tolerant of lesbians and gays, so it was a safe country to abscond too, as a lesbian.
That’s when my good-life started. Life on my terms. Life as a lesbian. I went out on the Swiss-German gay-scene and soon met my first proper girlfriend. We fell in love.
I was 21 when I came back to the UK. Healed and confident about expressing my sexuality and went to live independently from my parents.
It meant being homeless, in Leeds, for a short span, but my craving to be authentic, meant that I really didn’t have a choice. Yes. I was homeless because of my sexuality.
So, that was my “coming-out” story.
Since then, I have had two long-standing loving, lesbian relationships, spanning twenty years, where two children were born. One a girl and one a boy. I didn’t give birth to them and my two lesbian partners, had them using Artificial Insemination by Donor. I was their co-parent. Their… Issy!
I’ve had to really, really fight to exist as a lesbian, but it’s been worth it! My life has been authentic and emotionally fulfilling.
I couldn’t have lived any other way.